Hydraulics and Diesel

Yesterday, Mom made me go to Hobby Lobby with her.  Ugh....  Just the smell of that store makes me cringe.  All they have is girly, grandma-ish stuff that a boy like me doesn't have any business being around.  Sure, some of you will quickly say, "But, dear Jack, they sell models of cars, airplanes and trains there."  First of all, I have to wade through home decor, scented candles, wicker baskets, fabric, birthday cards, beads, and fake flowers before I can get to that section.  Then, it's just one aisle.  I can be done in five minutes, but Mom takes FOREVER.  Trust me.  A trip to Hobby Lobby is like getting clothing as a present.  Mom's happy; I'm not so much.

So, you're probably wondering why I'm writing about this trip to Hobby Lobby.  Well, guess what store is next door?  TSC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You got that right -- Tractor Suppy Company.  Luckily, I survived the trip to Hobby Lobby because afterwards, Mom took me there.  Of course, stores like TSC know what guys like me are looking for.  They had a nice assortment of tractors, even some more my size.  I need to convince Dad that I need a tractor -- the kind I can drive.  I've got Mom convinced.  See, if I get one of those riding tractors with a trailer in the back, I can help Mom with going to commissary and BX.  It's a win-win situation.  I wouldn't have to look like a sissy riding in the stroller, and Mom can load the trailer up with the groceries.  Dad, you'll buy the "don't want to look like a sissy" part.  Remember, I have to "represent."  If I look like a "sissy," how does that reflect on you, Dad?  It's quite logical; I need a tractor -- not a woosified stroller.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Well, that was sure nice of Jack's Mom to take him to TSC after Hobby Lobby.  I guess that made up for such a rotten beginning to Jack's 'trip' to town."  Oh, but it gets better. 

After TSC, we went to the carwash.  I've never been to a carwash like this.  We dropped the car off and went into a building.  In this building, there were glass windows, and through these glass windows, I got to watch the car go through some serious cleaning.  The car moved through this tunnel and nobody was driving.  That's when I got to thinking, "I need to start a carwash."  People will always need to wash their cars.  I could make some big dough.  Then, I could buy a barn full of tractors. 

Ok....So, the carwash was neat.  But, it's not over yet.

On the way home, Mom saw a construction site.  She pulled a "U-eee" in the middle of the road, drove back to a nearby empty parking lot, and parked the car.  I'm thinking, "Mom, what the heck are you doing?"  Then, I saw them!  A monstrous CAT front-end loader and a CAT road-grader!!!  Mom got me out of the carseat, took me underneath a nearby tree, and we watched those bad boys tear up some dirt.  The road grader driver saw us, drove over to our area, waved at me, and blasted his horn!  Pretty darn sweet, if you ask me. 

Well, we drove home after this.  I was tuckered out and don't really remember the drive.  Whew! 

It just never ends.  This morning, I woke up and realized it was Friday!  This brought a big smile to my face.  THose of you in the working world are probably thinking, "Kid, you're too young to get 'excited' about Fridays.  TGIF is not an acronym in your limited vocabulary."  Ok, TGIF is not in my vocabulary but TGITD is.  Thank Goodness It's TRASH DAY!!! 

Watching the trash truck pick up the neighborhood garbage scores a 10 on the "JL Scale" (Jack Like Scale).  I get to watch "Bob" and "Jarvis" load the garbage, listen to the sound of hydraulics and horsepower, and smell the diesel and putrescence.  This morning, the driver (let's call him "Rufus") was leaving the neighborhood but stopped by our house. He waved and blasted the trash truck's horn.   Then, "Bob" and "Jarvis" waved from the back as the truck drove off.  Man, those dudes are so stinkin' lucky!(no pun intended)  They get to stand on the back of a huge truck like that.

Wow, so, the last twenty-four hours have made up for that dadgum trip to Hobby Lobby.  Hmmm....I wonder when we're going to Hobby Lobby again.  Heck, it might just be worth it.

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