THE JACKPACK

This is Will.  People underestimate me because I've got a bald spot and a soft spot.  I like to cry, and I live on a liquid diet.  But, see, I just got on this computer, unbeknownst to my furry friends who think they run this show now.  Right.  We'll see about that.  Jack gave me some tips on how the mouse works, etc.  And, little did people know that Ty's little brother Jack and I don't just discuss college football and food at tumbling.  No, we study -- study tumbling.  Yeah, give me a mat any ol' day.  And, today, I showed everyone.  I rolled -- just like Jack does his roll down the mat. I rolled.  Oh, and Jack, thanks!  Thanks for the encouragement, dude.  I know this totally destroys your record in the baby book.  But, let's be honest, it wasn't that great.  Rolling at almost 5 months?  We'll blame that on Mom.  But, let's be honest, I just have SKILLZ!!! And, yeah, who pu...

We asked Jack how his tumbling class went.  We still weren't sure what he learns there that he can't learn wrestling with us, but whatever.  Today we found out.  And, now, we are BIG supporters of his attendance.  Apparently, he's quite popular at tumbling.  This morning, Jack's mom couldn't seem to get her act together, and after a few tense moments, everyone made it out the door for tumbling.  Jack was late, but I guess this turned into a good thing.  He rolled into tumbling and flashed everyone his mega-watt smile.  When the other kiddos saw Jack, all the little girls enthusiastically yelled, "HI JACK!!!  Jack's HERE!!!"  With pure confidence, Jack strut on over to the mat and started telling his teacher all about...well....something.  We're not sure what.  That got lost in translation.  But, anyway, he's a popular fella in his tumbling class. Ok...so, fellas, you thought that was good.  Well, apparen...

Albert, dude, what's with the owls?  They're too girly.  Change it back to tire tracks, you idiot. Sincerely, Locke

This is Albert here.  Remember, I'm the big, brown, fuzzy bear Jack used to write about on this forgotten blog.  Oh the sadness!  But, as Locke, the tiger, mentioned in the last post, which was a few ice ages ago, we have taken over.  Jack's too busy playing with his trains and making sure his younger brother isn't eyeing his favorite trucks.  Locke thinks Jack should spend less time worried about his vehicles and more time learning his alphabet.  I just tell Locke to "get a life."  Plus, I'm one of the kid's favorite animals at the moment.  So, Locke can beat it.  Speaking of animals....  You've probably forgotten about us.  Ugh.  I don't want to re-introduce us all.  Really, there's a bag of Cheetohs calling my name over in the kitchen.  Jack's mom won't let me eat them near the computer.  Plus, it's probably hard to type after the first paw-ful, simply due to the wonderful fact that my paws would be smo...

This is Locke.  You remember, I'm Jack's tiger.  Well, the zoo gang has decided that since Jack has no time to write, considering he now has a younger brother to play with, we've taken over the blogging.  And, we have some newbies.  We'll introduce them at a later date.  Suffice to say, a rhino, a turtle, a dinosaur, and a rat have joined the mix.  Crowded, indeed.  It's a good thing we're moving out this place soon. Here's how Jack really feels about his brother.  It's the latest in recent developments and a moment obviously cherished by his mother.  Yesterday, while eating pizza in bed (he was hungry at 8:30 pm and mother felt sorry for him), Jack, for the first time, used that powerful word, "love."  And, no, he didn't say, "I wuv pizza."  He said, "I wuv Wiww." (Translation: I love Will.)  He followed it with, "I wuv Mama. I wuv Dad. I wuv firetruck."  So,  Wiww, feel loved kiddo.  We'll make sure to ...

In an effort to save time, I've decided to write this blog entry in the form of a Dick and Jane reader.  If you have ever gotten a sibling, you understand why.  Oh brother! Jasper (the stork) came. He brought me a brother. The brother's name is Will. He has brown hair. He has blue eyes. He cries. Life has changed. See me run at the park. Mom cooks. [finally] [In Jack's words....He was ecstatic to see mom cooking again one evening...like everything had returned to "normal."  His words before bedtime, "Mom cook."]

Sunday Evening, July 3rd: My buddies Kaity and Mac come over for hamburgers, cupcakes, homemade ice cream and cherry limeades.  We run around like lunatics and yell "Kachow!"  Parental intervention crashed the party only when we started hiding in my closet and slamming the closet door.  Oh...and, Kaity decided to humor me by rocking my chair really hard against the wall.  It was hilarious, and I nearly died laughing.  (until parents walked in)   Overall, SCORE!  Great evening!  Mac played cars with me and showed me how to drive my fire engine -- the right way. Monday Evening, July 4th:  Base festivities -- talk about a primo Independence Day celebration. 1.  Visit firet ruck and Sparky, the fire-dog, sit in fire truck 2.  See F-16 display with Dad as my guide....beat that!  You only wish.... 3.  Bouncy castle time!  Yeah, buddy.  Play with all ...

Living the high life....in Seoul

Korean excuse for a backyard:

Phew!  So, I just set a new record for least number of posts in a one month period.  Yep, none.  Don't hate, though.  The more mature I become, the less I need to pour my emotional sap into a blog.  Just kidding.  Actually, I've been busy since I got back to Korea.  And, you're probably thinking, "Yeah, that's a lame excuse for laziness.  Nice try, bucko!"  But, it's true.  I have some very important things going on in my life right now.  First off, it has been a long time since you heard anything about my furry buddies who live in my room, my wonderful zoo.  Well, they've been alive and well.  And, the reason why you haven't heard anything is because they up and went on an Afircan safari without ever notifying me while I was in the States.  Yep, just left...  At least, they remembered to take out the trash and empty out the Cheetoh stash.  Losers.  Albert (the bear), Mountbatten (the elephant), Locke...

I've been a typical "guy" lately.  Or, actually, I guess I have the perfect excuse: genetics.  My dad hates writing.  So, there, I'm predisposed to dislike writing.  (Mom likes writing.  So, I guess that's why I'm actually putting this together for you.  A little watering-down of the "hate writing" gene.) What prompted me to write?  Well, I just had one of the best weekends ever.  Here's a perfect timeline of events: Thursday Evening:  Drive to Austin to meet my Aunt K and Uncle C.  Take my "Babcia" out for a fine dining experience at the Trattoria Lysina Winery in honor of her birthday and Mother's Day.  I sipped wine, flirted with the waitress, and blew kisses to the lovely young lady serving gelato.  Ok, I'm just kidding about the wine.  But, that's not to say that I didn't eat some pretty classy stuff: Artichoke fritter thingies, some "calamari," some veal marsala.  I loved the calamari, but after a whil...

The pictures say it all:  I was a kayakin'!

Late Saturday morning, I was piddling around, waiting for the day to get exciting when Mom said, "Jack, let's go."  We got in the car and drove about five minutes up the highway to a place called "Yellowhouse Machinery."  When I got out of the car, I could see a yard of John Deere heavy equipment: bulldozers, graders, backhoes, skid-steers.... I went nuts. We walked into the building, and a guy asked Mom, "What can I do for you?" She answered, "Well, I have a little guy who's fairly obsessed with heavy equipment.  Would it be alright if I walked with him around your yard and showed him the tractors?" The guy answered, "Sure, and I can fix him up one better."  He handed me two boxes of model diecast John Deere tractors: an excavator and a backhoe.  Mom was shocked by his kindess, and I just about flipped with excitement.  Oh boy, oh boy!  We looked around the yard and returned to the office because Mom said I could pick...

Two Christmases ago, ok...my first Christmas, I got my first pair of real boots from my Uncle C and Aunt K.  Well, too long ago, I outgrew those boots in Korea.  And, guess what they don't sell real boots, Texas style, in Korea.  So, I had to wait until I made my little trip back to the promised land to get myself a real pair of boots, get myself back in business, if you know what I mean.  Today was like any ordinary day while visiting the LoneStar State.  I ate my cinnamon roll, drenched in delicious, nutritious, can't beat it, "Dad, you wish you had some," icing.  Then, I played with my tractors and Mack trucks on the hearth, all the while waiting for Mom to either say, "Hey, we're going to town.  Let's go in the car."  Or, "Hey, we're going outside to play in the dirt."  Either way, it's a win-win situation around here.  Today, it was the car.  Our first little trip was to Palmer Feed and Supply.  Apparently, it's tradit...

...also known as "De-Sissifying"....."De-Babyfying" (however you wanna spell it).....  As you might have noticed in my recent photographs, I finally have real boy's legs.  FINALLY.  Ugh, I thought that day would never come.  Both legs host a number of gashes, scrapes, bruises, and mosquito bites, and I wear these perforations with great pride.   And, I'll have you know that through it all, not a tear was shed.  Yes, I earned that biggest gash after falling hard on rocks at the ranch.  Did I cry?  Nope.  With blood gushing down my leg, I just got right up and kept trekking down the road.  I am a trooper....  Wait, I am Incognito Man! 

TSA's Latest Terrorist Profile: Age: Between 15 and 24 months Hair Color: Blonde Eye Color: Blue Eyes Skin Color: Pale Suspect will likely be wearing Osh Kosh jean overalls, Polo shirt, and a red zip-up sweatshirt with an embroidered American flag on the back.  Suspect is armed with Play-Doh and a white muslin blanket named "Buh."  He will be traveling with his brown-hair, blue-eyed pregnant mother.  Suspect's jean overalls will likely set off metal detector, and he should be treated as MOST DANGEROUS.  Please subject to thorough and invasive pat-down.  Please confiscate Play-Doh and test muslin blanket for explosives. TSA'S NEW TERRORIST PROFILE (Courtesy of Your Hard-Earned Tax Dollars) [ Yep, folks, it did happen.  If I'm a lyin', I'm a cryin'.  My overalls set off the metal detector, and apparently, that meant I needed to go through one of those rather "personal" pat-downs.  Plus, they even tested me for explosive resi...

Well, folks, it's been a while, but that's a good thing.  I've been busy and really busy.  Since my last post, I actually traversed the expansive, now irradiated, Pacific Ocean to the grand ol' Estados Unidos, as my hombres like to call it.  Mom and I decided to ditch Korea for a while to get some fresh air.   We spent our initial week and half in California, and boy, it's when I return to America that I realize what I'm missing.  Real pick-up trucks, real Mack trucks, real Corvettes....  None of these Hyandai mini, wannabe-trucks.  While in California, I got to see G-Dad and Grandma KC.  That's another aspect of American life that is missing in Korea -- grandparentage.  I could get used to that.  G-Dad took me to see trains, and afterwards, he took me to In and Out, the famous burger joint.  I got to have french fries and a vanilla shake for lunch.  H-E-A-V-E-N!  In addition to my train excursion, I got to vi...

Big word, huh?   All of you literary geniuses out there who think you're so studly can debate my usage, but Mom says that's what I should call this post.  Oh, I bet most of you literary geniuses are unemployed because you decided to get a liberal arts degree instead of studying something more worthwhile to society.  So, I'm throwing you a bone.  Go debate my title.  Heck, write a thousand page analysis about how it's sexist and denigrates "womyn."  Ok...rant against liberal arts majors done.  Now, to my post... Today, Mom was carrying me into the post office when the strangest thing happened.  Someone kicked me in the leg and basically said, "MOVE!"  My knee-jerk reaction, "YOU move!  I was here first." Again, I got kicked.  "MOVE, fatty!  It's my turn to be here." At this point, I wanted some third-party intervention, "MOM!  Someone keeps kicking me!!!" [Mom's sidenote: Carrying Jack to the post offi...

...you see that Mom has inadvertently left a three-layer cake on the edge of the counter, figure out that it is within your reach, and go to town on the frosting -- all of this while she's washing dishes and completely oblivious to your amazing feat!  Yes, folks, by the time Mom found out that I was standing behind her and swiping frosting off the cake, I was too cute a picture.  Sold!  Deliciousness! P.S. Mom thought the frosting was a disaster; I thought it was pure heaven!) (Can't wait until Mom starts working on Dad's birthday cake this week.  Hopefully, she'll be as careless.) Yes! Swwweeettness!  Cake, you're all MINE! Oops.  Hi, Mom! Some tip-toe action!