Adventures in Holland
You're probably thinking, "What? Jack went to the country of amoralism and wooden Striderites?" (Wait, did I use amoralism correctly? Whatever) Actually, I did not go to the real mcoyster Holland. Mom's not a big fan of flying long stretches with me....yet. I bet when she's old and decrepit, she will.
Instead, I went to Holland, Texas. I've got some family there. Holland, Texas is better than the real Holland in the sense that it's G rated....completely unlike the R rated Amsterdam about which I have not yet heard or read. Plus, Holland, Texas has fewer, well....no mosques, that I know of.
I went to a place that has miniature donkeys, German Shepherds (even a puppy), Labs, goats, chickens, cats, and horses. I had never been around cats, horses, chickens, or donkeys. I was fascinated by the cats, but when Dad heard this, he said, "Jack better enjoy them there, 'cause he's never going to have one." Dad's not really a big fan of cats. I don't think Mom is either. But, Mom explained that these cats were good cats because they actually "earn their keep." They live in the barn, catch small varmints, and sound the "snake alarm." So, I guess the only good cat is a "barn cat." These cats kind of looked like Locke, but when I told Locke this, he refused to talk to me. He's still giving me the cold shoulder. I guess I insulted him. He needs to grow thicker skin.
For the first time in my life, I got to sit on a horse. Now, that's a big animal. "Clementine" was her name, and when I sat on her, I'm pretty sure she muttered under her breath, "Lightweight." Hmmm...
One of the highlights of my trip was my birthday present: Two John Deere diecast tractors and a John Deere pickup. I drive them everyday. I also received some really nice clothes, but you know, I think Mom was more excited about them. The good thing about them? They have pictures of bulldogs on them.
I had a great time, and I did capture quite a bit of this on video. Unfortunately, Sony doesn't tell you that your video quality is going to be subpar if you don't buy an extra cable. So, everything is blurred. Mom wanted to simply delete this video after spending hours on it (and nuke Sony), but I convinced her to leave it temporarily. Because I'm a little more cool-headed than Mom right now, I think I'll try to find the cable at Best Buy. We apologize for the crummy video quality.
Instead, I went to Holland, Texas. I've got some family there. Holland, Texas is better than the real Holland in the sense that it's G rated....completely unlike the R rated Amsterdam about which I have not yet heard or read. Plus, Holland, Texas has fewer, well....no mosques, that I know of.
I went to a place that has miniature donkeys, German Shepherds (even a puppy), Labs, goats, chickens, cats, and horses. I had never been around cats, horses, chickens, or donkeys. I was fascinated by the cats, but when Dad heard this, he said, "Jack better enjoy them there, 'cause he's never going to have one." Dad's not really a big fan of cats. I don't think Mom is either. But, Mom explained that these cats were good cats because they actually "earn their keep." They live in the barn, catch small varmints, and sound the "snake alarm." So, I guess the only good cat is a "barn cat." These cats kind of looked like Locke, but when I told Locke this, he refused to talk to me. He's still giving me the cold shoulder. I guess I insulted him. He needs to grow thicker skin.
For the first time in my life, I got to sit on a horse. Now, that's a big animal. "Clementine" was her name, and when I sat on her, I'm pretty sure she muttered under her breath, "Lightweight." Hmmm...
One of the highlights of my trip was my birthday present: Two John Deere diecast tractors and a John Deere pickup. I drive them everyday. I also received some really nice clothes, but you know, I think Mom was more excited about them. The good thing about them? They have pictures of bulldogs on them.
I had a great time, and I did capture quite a bit of this on video. Unfortunately, Sony doesn't tell you that your video quality is going to be subpar if you don't buy an extra cable. So, everything is blurred. Mom wanted to simply delete this video after spending hours on it (and nuke Sony), but I convinced her to leave it temporarily. Because I'm a little more cool-headed than Mom right now, I think I'll try to find the cable at Best Buy. We apologize for the crummy video quality.
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