Idiot's Guide to Jack's Language

For the folks who have trouble communicating with me.....

Tactor: tractor
Light: light
Do Wedzenia: Bye (Polish)
Wiatrak: Fan (Polish)
Tdad: Dad
Nom/Nana: Mom
Tuck: Truck

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*****Static*****Static************************************************************************************************************************************************************************(6 years of STATIC)**************************************** (Someone clearing his throat.) Locke:  Crikey, Albert!!! Are we on?  Do not touch that dial.  Every time Will touches that button, we can never get it back on the right channel.  Blasted walkie talkie.  Santa should have gotten a contract with Motorola.  These things are junk.  Ok....let me see here.  Is it Channel 1?  I think we can broadcast now. "Hello, hello!  Good Morning.....ahem....Good Afternoon.....where are we Albert?" Albert:  You forgot to say "over." Based on my superior geographical knowledge, we are in a place called Buckeye....Buckeye, Arizona.  That's "Bravo," "Romeo," "Uncle".....wait...."Uniform," "Cheetoh," "Kilo," "Echo,"...
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The other evening, I was just minding my own business, driving my Ferraris, Corvettes, and Toyota Land Cruiser along the scenic highway (the couch, but don't burst my bubble).  That's when I heard Locke and all of the other furball doofuses in the hallway whispering.  Locke, "Shhhhhh!  Wait for it, w-a-i-t   f-o-r  i-t........." Then, they could hear a key inserted in the front door lock.  Within seconds, the door opened and in walked dad. Albert loudly whispered, "NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Once I heard the door open, I completely disregarded the crazies in the hallway and ran to see dad.  My latest trick is stealing the hat out of his flight suit pocket.  He keeps it in the pocket on his lower leg, and man, it's easy pickins'.  I love that hat!  When I have that hat on, I command so much more respect. As I was grabbing Dad's hat, I heard Ludendorff whisper, "Ja, you are correct.  Zee kiddo lights up zlike ...
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