Soccer to Synchronized Swimming

Soccer: Flamboyant Flamingo and Sand Crane = Victorious
Sumo-Wrestling: Albert won after spending the last two weeks eating tamales (made with lard), ice cream, and potatoes for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, and midnight snack.  He washed all of this down with chocolate protein shakes.  He called them "protein shakes," but Mom has been wondering why we're recently always low on my formula.  I saw him sneaking into the pantry everyday.  But, good on him.  He's a happy-go-lucky champ.
Archery:  Locke decided that this was a good time to share a practical history lesson.  It had something to do with a gesture and the French and a finger.  When Locke started telling everyone the story, Albert laughed and said, "Hit the Road, Jack!"  I tried getting past him, but he hasn't lost much of his sumo-wrestling weight.  So, it was next to impossible to get into my room.  I don't know exactly what they were talking about.  I'll ask Dad if he knows.  He pretty much knows everything.   Oh, by the way, Locke actually won.
Hide and Seek: Flamboyant Flamingo  Nobody found him, even though he didn't hide.  Apparently, sometimes people think it's aesthetically appealing to put plastic pink flamingos in their yards.  Well, he just found a garden area, put one leg up, stood still, and nobody found him.  Ugh.
Water Polo: Cancelled. They were going to play in the baby pool.  But, everyone took one look at the water and decided they'd rather not.  Wow, it was the first unanimous decision ever!  Amazing.
Bull-Fighting:  Locke wrote an insulting letter to the Mexican President Felipe Calderon, telling him that an ape could run his country better.  The Mexican president cancelled the group's order for a bull.  Locke, being the "diplomat" that he is, insisted that the group play "Capture the Illegal" instead -- in honor of Calderon.  When the group discussed the rules to the game, the Flamboyant Flamingo insisted that racial profiling was not allowed.  Needless to say, the Flamboyant Flamingo lost that game -- terribly lost that game.  
Synchronized Swimming:  This game was the Flamboyant Flamingo's recommendation.  Simply put, he's a strange bird.  Albert, Mountbatten, the Sandhill Crane, and Locke have been dreading this competition.  They tried to sabotage it -- went so far as to pour green food coloring and bubbles in the pool.  It failed.  On the dreaded day, the Flamboyant Flamingo was in the water practicing his routine.  Suddenly, we heard a rumble.  Pete, who was sitting in the lifeguard stand, looked puzzled.  What in the world?  Then, out of the men's locker room, Mountbatten, Albert, Locke, and the Sandhill Crane came charging!!!  Together, they shouted "Cowabunga, Dudes!"  They leapt off the side of the pool, perfectly synchronized, mind you, and landed massive cannonballs!! The resultant tidal wave splashed the Flamboyant Flamingo out of the pool, along with most of the water.  Albert stood up in the now shallow water, looked up at Flamingo, and nodded his head, "Eat that, fool!"  No "synchronized swimming."

Unfortunately, it looks like the Flamboyant Flamingo won the most competitions.  This is seriously disappointing.  I don't really want him traveling with me.  Hmmm....must figure out a way to get him to stay here.