The Referee
Yesterday evening, Albert, Locke, Mountbatten, and the Sandhill Crane were sitting on the veranda drinking Orange Juliuses. I'm not sure how they convinced Mom to make all of them some, but they did. When I joined them, Albert quickly offered me a sip. He knows how much I love those. And, yes, I have had one.
Since Albert offered me a sip, Locke quickly added, "Jack, you can have several sips from mine."
The Sandhill Crane added, "Jack, you can have half of mine."
Mountbatten countered, "I can give you a bath in it." (pulling his trunk out of the extra-large glass)
I knew what they were up to. They were schmoozing. I declined the offers and sat down.
(The Flamboyant Flamingo was trying to impress some lady pheasants nearby. He was using a horrible fake French accent. At least he doesn't use deoderant or brush his teeth. That will make the accent more authentic.)
"Sooooo, who won Yahtzee today? Or, did that result in something worthy to be shown as a WWF clip?"
The crane stopped slurping his drink and replied, "We were civilized. We got ourselves a referee."
"Oh really?! And, who is that?"
Mountbatten, "You know, Pete."
Ugh, I had forgotten all about Pete, and it's easy to do that. My furry buds don't really like the guy. For starters, he's a crocodile. I think there's something about the mammal/bird/reptile relationship. I think the mammals and birds have a hate/hate relationship with the reptiles. Plus, Pete's a recluse. Ever since he arrived off the boat, he spends most of his time in my closet playing computer. He's lost his typical crocodilian color because he never sees the sun. He's an anti-social type. Oh man, dare I say it? He's a nerd on steroids. But, these steroids have had the reverse effect on his muscle tone, if you know what I mean.
Yep, he's their referee now. I think this is a good thing, though. Pete's brilliant. He has no desire to leave this summer. (I think he's working on some super-complicated computer programming project.) Since he never socializes with anyone, he won't be partial. Ohhh man, Pete. Poor guy. I hope he has the backbone to stand up to the other guys, especially Locke.
Well, apparently, Pete ensured that the Yahtzee rules were followed very closely -- to the T. Locke got kicked out of the game for shouting obscenities and hurling his dice out the window. Mountbatten got kicked out of the game for rigging his dice. (He brought his own.) The Sandhill Crane got bored and forfeited. By default, the blasted Flamingo won. Umm.....not good. That French wannabe, garlic-reeking pansy absolutely cannot go in my suitcase. If he wins anymore of these games......ugh.
Since Albert offered me a sip, Locke quickly added, "Jack, you can have several sips from mine."
The Sandhill Crane added, "Jack, you can have half of mine."
Mountbatten countered, "I can give you a bath in it." (pulling his trunk out of the extra-large glass)
I knew what they were up to. They were schmoozing. I declined the offers and sat down.
(The Flamboyant Flamingo was trying to impress some lady pheasants nearby. He was using a horrible fake French accent. At least he doesn't use deoderant or brush his teeth. That will make the accent more authentic.)
"Sooooo, who won Yahtzee today? Or, did that result in something worthy to be shown as a WWF clip?"
The crane stopped slurping his drink and replied, "We were civilized. We got ourselves a referee."
"Oh really?! And, who is that?"
Mountbatten, "You know, Pete."
Ugh, I had forgotten all about Pete, and it's easy to do that. My furry buds don't really like the guy. For starters, he's a crocodile. I think there's something about the mammal/bird/reptile relationship. I think the mammals and birds have a hate/hate relationship with the reptiles. Plus, Pete's a recluse. Ever since he arrived off the boat, he spends most of his time in my closet playing computer. He's lost his typical crocodilian color because he never sees the sun. He's an anti-social type. Oh man, dare I say it? He's a nerd on steroids. But, these steroids have had the reverse effect on his muscle tone, if you know what I mean.
Yep, he's their referee now. I think this is a good thing, though. Pete's brilliant. He has no desire to leave this summer. (I think he's working on some super-complicated computer programming project.) Since he never socializes with anyone, he won't be partial. Ohhh man, Pete. Poor guy. I hope he has the backbone to stand up to the other guys, especially Locke.
Well, apparently, Pete ensured that the Yahtzee rules were followed very closely -- to the T. Locke got kicked out of the game for shouting obscenities and hurling his dice out the window. Mountbatten got kicked out of the game for rigging his dice. (He brought his own.) The Sandhill Crane got bored and forfeited. By default, the blasted Flamingo won. Umm.....not good. That French wannabe, garlic-reeking pansy absolutely cannot go in my suitcase. If he wins anymore of these games......ugh.
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